how can u be prego again
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
