we have officially lost it.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
