Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
