I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
