they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
