I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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