I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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