If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
