Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
