She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
