My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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