look no pants
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Come on in and take your pants off
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