Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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