You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
