This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up under a house in Key West
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize