But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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