I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
