Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
