You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
