Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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