I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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