i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
