I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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