need another drink. this is the easiest way
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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