I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
