i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Randomize
