Don't you send me to vm
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she pinky promised me she was 18
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
