They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
