Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Girls should come with a carfax report
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
