She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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