he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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