9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
