I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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