He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
