Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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