we're blogging at a bar
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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