I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
