Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
