garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
