You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
