I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
