She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
