All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
