Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
