Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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