Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
