How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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