There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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