I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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