I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
