I heard we made out
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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