You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
