shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
