thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize