I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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