You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
