so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
ok first of all what the fuck
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
