did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
