I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
