32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
