I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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