i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
