just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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