you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
