He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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