i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
