I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So squirting runs in the family.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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