im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
