So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
