That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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