mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
