DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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