I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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